Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Look What I Have tried On?



Nice or Not?

I saw this dress at Tang’s Studio and cannot resist, but HAVE TO TRY IT ON!!!!
I’ve decided to get someone to make this dress for my big day! Of course I would want it long instead of knee length….
Any recommendation for good tailor?

OH MAN!! NOT AGAIN!!

Price of petrol blardy increase again! This time is by 30 cents! SHIT! Apparently this is the highest increase in the last two years!

Blardy!! Prices increase EVERYWHERE! EXCEPT for one department!!
MY BLARDY SALARY!!

Friday, February 24, 2006

It’s a Small World After All

Imagine. Driving on a road with a speed limit of 90km/h (which means you can go up to 100 km/h without kena fine), flooring the darn accelerator because your car refused to pick up speed, and your lunch has finally decided that it wants OUT!! OUT!!! OUT!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And cut off any relationship with you there and then from now onwards!!!

And from afar, you noticed this car, driving leisurely on the right lane. Probably doing a 60km/h. As if trying to convert the dusty noise and rush hour surrounding to those serene peaceful reserved forest with rabbits hopping around, monkeys monkying around, papa deer and mama deer taking care of baby deer, wild boar drinking water at the riverside, birds chirpping gaily, wahhhso many wild flowers, and ahhh, the musky smell…. oh so peaceful surreal surrounding.

Noticing how adamantly your lunch wanted out, you started flashing. Headlights, that is. Flash pause. pause. flash. No reaction. Flash pause pause. flash. Still no reaction. As you get nearer, and as your lunch is trying to budge out in any second, your flash turns into a more urgent plea. Flash flash pause flash flash. Flash flash pause flash flash…. BUGGER, still no reaction. Dreaming or what?? Still in the process of converting is it??? Blardy! Then came FLASH FLASH FLASH FLASH FLASH!!
And honk honk… then you notice there is a space on your left, you swerve into the left over took the fella. While doing it, you have decided to throw in some complimentary bonus for the fella by honking and showing your finger. And while turning your head to try to stare and give that fella those don’t mess with me you he-bitch stare… and only

to realize, the fella is someone that you know, not close, but someone you know. SHIT!

And…. while praying SO hard that the fella won't recognize you because of your twisted disfigured I'm going to kill you type of facial expression, that fella looked you in your eyes and.. my GOD, he recognizes you..!! CONGRATULATION. DOUBLE SHIT…. And… THAT’s NOT IT…

The fella is actually a client….!!!! TRIPLE SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Thursday, February 23, 2006

I AM MAD!! ANGRY MAD not CRAZY MAD!!!

blardy. It is not even Monday and my day started off like a shit ball which has previously happily rolled itself into some shithole containing thousands of camel and flies shit and human shit and pig shit and duck shit and cow dung and all sorts of shit and dung, and not enough, it has to bounce bounce bounce everywhere, dirtied all the places. Finally, when it blardy decided to stop screwing around, it HAD TO blardy land in my hand... MY HAND!!! BLARDY!!!
Don't curse also cannot!!!
So, I have a shit ball with me, Any takers?
Any any??????
SHIT!!!!
It is NOT even MONDAY YET!!!

Monday, February 20, 2006

Wishes

I was cleaning up my SMS inbox and saw this EXTRAORDINARY New Year wish by a fried of mine:

"May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the ass of the person who screws up your year and may his/her arms grow too short to scratch his/her ass".

Wahahahahhaa………….

Cruel but….

AMEN!

LLB

Definition of LLB:
Latin. Legum Baccalaureus (Bachelor of Laws)

However, for most lazy buggers like myself, defines LLB as:
Look Like Busy

But, someone came out with a new definition:
LLB = Leally Leally Busy - the Chinese way of speaking Really Really Busy


Friday, February 17, 2006

I am Your Servant

People with a brain of a size of small mutated Nyan Yin peanut and a lau-sai (cirit birit) waiting-for-the-sky-to-rain-money-on-them, I-don't-give-a-shit-of-what-you-want, I-don't-feel-like-attending-to-your-request-cause-I-have-to-go-for-my-5th-tea-break-of-the-day-if-not-my-brain-will-skrink-further-and-will-definately-die type of attitute, should not work as a goverment servant.
This was what happened:
Me: Hello, (with very broken BeeM) Selamat pagi
Pea brain human (PBH): Hello (sounded like one at their death bed)
Me: yada yada..... as such, I would really appreciate if you could extract the documents for me.
PBH: er, tapi.....
Me: Ada masalah keh?
PB: er, ya lah cik....
Me: So, bolehkah you tolong I extract the documents? (In extra sweet voice, while trying to surpress the volcano from erupting.)
PB: boleh lah....
Me: That's fantastic... good good!! Thank you Thank you!!!
PB: er, tapi....
Me: .... and?
PB: Boleh extract... tapi susah... boleh, tapi susah...
Me: ...........!!!!!!!!
How I wish I could throw all profanities that I could muster at her face, Unfortuntely I am the one asking a favour from her, I have to be professionally polite.... shit....!!!!
Sometimes I wonder, what is the meaning of public servant. To serve the public or public serving them!
Of course not ALL are like that....
I have met some helpful ones.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

This is THE WAY to do it!!

I apologize for not posting this up earlier. To those who bought something which have cost your arms and legs (plural, not singular) or other body parts, I apologize. For not posting my tips earlier.

Theses days VD is just SO DAMN commercialise. We as someone who are smart, have enough attitude and character SHOULD NOT blindly follow the crowd. If you wish to contribute to the growth our country's economy, you CAN contribute to me. I'll be glad to assist you in playing your part of being a good and responsible citizen.

OK, this is the way you should spend your VD with your date:

Don't rush back after work, in fact you should stay in the office abit longer, to avoid the jam.
Have your dinner at home. If you can wait, eat with him/her, if you can't you can start first.
Surf the channel - TV 1, 2 or 3 is just plain SAD, for Christ's sake install ASTRO!
If you have had your dinner without your partner, this is the time to teman your partner for dinner.
Do whatever you like after dinner, YOU DON'T NEED ME TO TEACH YOU DON'T YOU!

There! see??? don't have to spend alot right? While having a good time, you still get to keep your arm and leg and er, other body parts right?? heh!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day
and don't get yourself ripped off... wahahahhahaha!!!!!
enjoy buying your partner(s) EXPENSIVE gift(s) and dinner(s)!!!!
wahahahhahah!!!

Monday, February 13, 2006

Crappy Monday

Everyone is cranky!

Enough said! I blardy HATE MONDAY!!!!

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is around the corner. If you are as broke as myself, and would still like to present something nice to someone special, you could always write them a poem. If you are not creative at all, and has problem composing your own Poem, dont fret! HELP is here, here is a really good poem for you to er... plagiarize , by EE Cummings:

i like my body when it is with yourbody.
It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.i like your body.
i like what it does,i like its hows.
i like to feel the spineof your body and its bones, and the trembling-firm-smooth ness and which i willagain and again and againkiss,
i like kissing this and that of you,i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzzof your electric fur, and what-is-it comesover parting flesh . . . .
And eyes big love-crumbs,
and possibly i like the thrill of under me you so quite new


IF YOU THINK this poem is too yuk mah... here is another one, also by EE Cummings:

i carry your heart with me(i carry it inmy heart)
i am never without it(anywherei go you go,my dear;
and whatever is doneby only me is your doing,my darling)
i fearno fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)
i wantno world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meantand
whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the budand the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which growshigher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Here you go..... You are most welcomed!

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Stupid Laptop!

*Curse curse curse.........*
My stupid IBM R40e laptop is so darn annoying! Kept on restarting... blardy!! All my blardy work!!!
Want to refrain myself from cursing also cannot. Blardy!!

New Year Resolution

People make New Year Resolution, I make Chinese New Year Resolution! I like to be different! Cannot meh?
Ok, these are my resolution:
1. To be more committed to God
2. To be more committed to my work
3. To save more money, this means spend less on shoes, bags and nice bajus.
4. To curse and swear less
5. To be more sabar while blardy driving
6. To fix the blardy digi cam soonest possible if not go get a new one so that can take more pics of Rover while he is still alive and kicking
7. To be a better person
8. To read more business related articles/ magazines/ journals/ newspaper. Not just fashion/ entertainment
9. To put on more weight
10. To exercise more often
11. To walk my dogs
I guess that's enough resolution for the time being. AHAHHAHAHAHAH....
I could start off by cursing less BLARDY!!!


Monday, February 06, 2006

CNY updates?

OK, I promised updates right?

well, I went back to kampung. My dad's kampung.


My daily timetable (for 7 days) was like: wake up, bathe, makan, dvd, bathe, makan, dvd, sleep, makan, dvd, sleep, makan, sleep, makan, bathe, dvd, sleep.

Yes, lots of food and lots of rest!!! whooohoooo!!!!
Wanted to take some photos but the damn digi-cam decided to kong out on me!! Blardy!!!

so, NO PHOTOS!! We had so much nice food. Traditional hock chiew food. Red wine mee shuah, Fish maw, sea cucumber, sharkfin, hock chiew pork ball, poh piah,sweet and sour pork, yam and pork soup,butter prawns, fried noodles, all very authentic and traditional, not something that we eat everyday.

are you salavating now? I am damn hungry now.